Is The Government Spying On Schizophrenics Enough?
In The Know: Panelists discuss ways to care for the nation's paranoid schizophrenics, such as hiding cameras in their homes or ...
From: The Onion
Added: 18 years ago
Views: 6,577,381
20,951 ratings
Results for “The Onion”
About 1,378,933 results
Fat Kid Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt
Today Now! brings you the inspiring story of Brian Peete, a fat boy who hid his obesity from other children at the pool by keeping ...
From: The Onion
Added: 18 years ago
Views: 2,921,920
6,971 ratings
Overcome Stress By Visualizing It As A Greedy, Hook-Nosed Race Of Creatures
On Today Now!, author Christine Eckard teaches Jim and Tracy to imagine economic problems as oily, curly-haired "Grabblers."
From: The Onion
Added: 16 years ago
Views: 3,129,145
28,408 ratings
'9/11 Conspiracy Theories Ridiculous' - Al Qaeda
An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the U.S. government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al ...
From: The Onion
Added: 18 years ago
Views: 9,159,321
10,145 ratings
Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?
With the economy sliding deeper into a recession, panelists discuss whether it's time to stop throwing our money into a massive pit ...
From: The Onion
Added: 17 years ago
Views: 4,760,648
36,124 ratings
Expert Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters
Today Now! host Jim Haggerty consoles a severely depressed zoologist on the latest Critter Corner installment. More coverage at: ...
From: The Onion
Added: 18 years ago
Views: 9,432,872
47,818 ratings
Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Excruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story ...
From: The Onion
Added: 16 years ago
Views: 9,558,286
7,936 ratings
Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested In Manslaughter Law Loopholes
Host becomes curiously pushy, sweaty in this roundtable discussion about loopholes in manslaughter law in the US.
From: The Onion
Added: 17 years ago
Views: 7,574,583
8,558 ratings
Chef Cooks 'Dream Omelet' That Came To Him In A Dream
Today Now! shares a delicious omelet recipe you can make at home with just a few simple and surreal ingredients.
From: The Onion
Added: 18 years ago
Views: 3,741,652
48,272 ratings
Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election
Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single ...
From: The Onion
Added: 18 years ago
Views: 3,577,921
45,655 ratings
U.S. Closes Final WWII Internment Camp
White House Press Secretary Debra Browning reminds reporters that there were 26 other camps that the U.S. successfully closed ...
From: The Onion
Added: 18 years ago
Views: 599,898
30,363 ratings
Memorial Honors Victims Of Imminent Dam Disaster
Officials in California dedicated the Folsom Dam Memorial, which will honor the nearby residents that will die when the faulty dam ...
From: The Onion
Added: 18 years ago
Views: 2,755,953
36,824 ratings
In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Panelists discuss whether Halloween candy and costumes have ...
From: The Onion
Added: 17 years ago
Views: 1,481,841
31,029 ratings
Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
Our Tech Trends reporter looks at the new gizmo Sony promises will revolutionize the way consumers become infuriated by ...
From: The Onion
Added: 17 years ago
Views: 10,112,029
47,690 ratings
Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar
8 year old Lucas Armitage has become a national hero after bravely defending his home by shooting a burglar multiple times in ...
From: The Onion
Added: 17 years ago
Views: 8,164,979
20,271 ratings
Snacks Distract Lawmakers From Horrors of War
A congressional committee discussing Iraq War casualty levels approves of the delicious chips and salsa Rep. Benjamin Sinclair ...
From: The Onion
Added: 18 years ago
Views: 577,558
10,691 ratings
Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
The MacBook Wheel lets consumers accomplish everyday tasks like typing with just a few dozen spins and clicks of a wheel.
From: The Onion
Added: 17 years ago
Views: 13,580,650
28,048 ratings
Reporters Blow Up Plane, Expose Security Lapses
271 are dead after an Onion News Network Special Investigative Report on airport security. More coverage at: http://onion.com.
From: The Onion
Added: 18 years ago
Views: 3,283,990
14,091 ratings
More American Workers Outsourcing Own Jobs Overseas
A new Department of Labor report finds personal outsourcing is revolutionizing how Americans dont do their own work.
From: The Onion
Added: 17 years ago
Views: 2,886,302
11,254 ratings